brn2bthn

I have got to the most uncoordinated person on this planet.  I don’t know of anyone else that can just fall while walking like I do.  I haven’t done it in a while which is a miracle for me.  Some would say “so don’t wear such high shoes” I don’t wear heels and I can lose my footing walking in sneakers, I did while walking home from the store one day and luckily didn’t break any of the eggs I had.  This morning I’m walking through the mall to the food court to get breakfast, it was before 9 so nothing was open yet and there really wasn’t anybody in there (thank god).  I’m wearing my clogs that are kinda like platform type shoes but I’ve had them for 4 years so it’s not like I’m not adept (right word?) at walking in them.  They are my most comfortable pair of shoes to walk in.  I rounding a corner by the escalator when my left ankle just turns or does something and down I go.  Land hard on my right knee (my knees are messed up to begin with from jumping and falling out of trees etc as a kid).  My face almost kisses the floor too.  These 2 guys just happened to see me and yell “hey, you alright” I say and yes as I’m getting up.  They notice my shoes as I get on the elevator and proceed to yell to me “it’s them heels, gotta watch them heels, hear me it’s them heels” to shut them up I say yes back thinking the whole time “I’ve worn this for 4 years and this has never happened so shut the **** up”  My right knee didn’t bruse as bad as I thought it would but my left foot/ankle/lower shin/lower calf all are very uncomfortable now and it’s sort of hard to put all of my weight (if  I weighed less it might not be so hard) on it so all day at work I’ve kept my shoes off and have only put them on to go down the hallway outside of the office to go to the bathroom.  I don’t think it’s swollen just uncomfortable and throbbing a little bit.  Not doing any cardio today and I was so looking forward to doing a half hour of spinning.  Oh well, next Wednesday for spinning.  Tomorrow’s gonna stink, there’s a heavy snow warning from 7 am till 7 pm so that means I have to get up earlier so we can leave earlier if it’s snowing and tonite we won’t be home till after midnight cuz it’s a bowling nite (see I dislike Thursdays blog).  I’ve complained enough.  Have to go try to walk a little bit, can’t sit here no more. 

Just a bunch of babble.  I’ve been stuck here at 221 lbs for quite some time now.  For now I just want to get to 199 out of the 200’s.  Of course since my father’s passing in October honey and I haven’t exactly been hitting the gym like we should and I get burned out going there day after day that I have to take a week or so off which doesn’t help me any.  I’m getting one of the bedrooms upstairs cleaned out and set up so I can take a tv and dvd player up there and do dvds when I get burned out from the gym.  I do different cardio everytime I there but I still get burned out.  We don’t get home until after 7:00 p.m. when we go there after work.  It’s a 1 hour drive from there (we both work near the gym) to our house.  Oh well, I will survive.  I need to get back into lifting which is what I love more than cardio. 

I have my grandson only this weekend which I am looking forward to.  He is on the low spectrum of autisum and he’s an absolute joy to have around.  He’s talking so much better now and he’s actually so smart for his 5 yrs.  On Thanksgiving at my sister’s house he was playing with some toys my brother-in-law got out for him and he wanted the lights on the motorcycles to work like the lights on the helicopter.  My brother-in-law told him the lights don’t light up.  Well a few hours later my grandson bring him the motorcycles with the lights working.  My brother-in-law was totally floored. He thought they didn’t light up but that little professer found out they did. 

It’s cold here and we’re expecting snow (YUCK) tomorrow through Friday.  We have a winter weather advisery out where I live so by the time we get home Thursday nite we could have up to a foot of snow.  YUCK, DOUBLE YUCK.  If you can’t tell I hate snow.  I am even born and raised here and I still hate snow and cold.  Mainly the cold, especially the wind chills we have here.  We’re expecting another large load of wood  so that means we will be  unloading the trailer and stacking it in the garage in possible a lot of snow.  YUCK.  I know my fiance will tell me I don’t have to help but I’m the type of person to leave him out there by himself.  Besides I love that physical type of stuff.  It’s better than going to the gym. 

Okay lunch is over.  Back to work. 

I got this job right out of college (I didn’t go to college until I was in my 20’s because I had my daughter when I was 18 and waited until she started to school to continue my education).  No one else in my class wanted this job because it “didn’t pay enough” but I needed a job to get off of social services so I took it.  I have been here for 16 years.  In that 16 years it went from a 3 attorney firm to a 5 attorney firm to now a 1 attorney firm.  There was another secretary for the longest time but when it was down to the 2 partners they decided they only needed me (thank god).  Well, a few years ago one of the partners decided he wanted to get out of private practice and get an attorney position that came with a regular paycheck.  So he looked for a job (secretly I might add) and when he did get offered a job he gave his partner 3o day notice that we has leaving.  So for the last few years its been me and him (he subleases one of the empty offices to another attorney who I don’t do any work for, thank god because he doesn’t like me, I’m “not in his class”).  He has been very good to me the last 16 years helping me through personal family issues with my daughter etc.  Now, we come to find out a few months ago his kidneys are failing and he needs a transplant, dialysis etc.    I wish there was something I could do for him and hate the helpless feeling because he’s done so much for me.  He tells everyone he can that comes in (we have a lot of regular clients that know me) about how healthy I eat and go the gym everyday like a proud daddy.  But now, I often wonder how long I will have my job and what I’ll do should the worse happen.  I really don’t want to try to get into another firm because for one I can’t type fast at all, most attorneys are not nice to their staff, and I’m actually kind burned out from having to deal with people’s problems (it’s a general litgation office so we do a little of a lot).  I have however been thinking of getting into personal training especially with people who are extremely overweight.  I absolutely love working out and have learned alot about nutrition etc from just doing research online.  I know I like to help people and I think this may actually be something I could enjoy.  I’ve also thought about working with developmentally disabled children since my grandson possibly has some spectrum of autisim (high functioning) but is making excellent progress since it was caught early and he began going to a special school when he was like 2 or 3.   My grandaughtr too is delayed too (she was 2 weeks premature) but not to the extent that he is.  I guess when the time comes I will have to make a decision as to where my future is going.